yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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