I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
