I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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