I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
