so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
