so explain again why im purple
no
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
