What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
