just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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