I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
