I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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