you have to choose: penises or morals?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
