I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
