Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
