JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
