Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
