Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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