the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
