where am i from again
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
