This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
