Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
