your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
