just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
