Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
