so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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