So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
