oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
