I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
