It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
