love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
