Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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