His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
