goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
