guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
