Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
