Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
wow bdsm is so cute
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
