About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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