I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
did you just send me my own nude
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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