Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
