As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Found the puke drawer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
