Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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