So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
