I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
