a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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