awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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