i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
