I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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