i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
