Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
