you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
