he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
