did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
