We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
