I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
